im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
