school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
