how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
