I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
accomplished twins. life is a go
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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