I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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