I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
