dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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