I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
