yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
