Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
