I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
