so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
