there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
