My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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