let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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