it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
