I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
