her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
They have beer where we have blood.
I am naked and annoyed.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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