Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
