i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Randomize
