I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
