On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
