I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
