She is in my trunk
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
