This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
