Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
