do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
