If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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