After last night, I could never be a politician.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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