so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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