I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I just googled if crying burns calories
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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