Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
