you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
