drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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