there's paper in my vomit.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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