I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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