I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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