if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
