my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
