Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
