8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
