Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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