I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
