You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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