Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
