He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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