He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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