He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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