if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
