On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
