Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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